- The old model blamed social difficulties on an autistic theory-of-mind deficit.
- Damian Milton's 2012 double empathy problem reframes it as a two-way mismatch.
- Understanding breaks down in both directions, and autistic people communicate well with each other.
- The fair fix is mutual understanding, not one-sided social skills training.
For most of the history of autism research and clinical practice, social difficulties in autistic people were understood through a single lens: autistic people lack the capacity for social understanding. They have deficits in "theory of mind" the ability to understand that other people have thoughts, feelings, and perspectives different from their own.
This framework produced a body of therapeutic intervention aimed at teaching autistic people social skills, how to read neurotypical facial expressions, how to make the right amount of eye contact, how to take turns in conversation, how to signal interest in ways that neurotypical people recognize.
And then, in 2012, a researcher named Damian Milton proposed something that changed the picture entirely.
What the Double Empathy Problem says
In a 2012 paper in Disability and Society, Milton proposed that the social difficulties in autism are not a one-way deficit. They are a two-way mismatch.
In other words, understanding breaks down in both directions. Non-autistic people can misread autistic facial expressions, misinterpret autistic communication styles, and fail to attribute accurate thoughts and feelings to autistic people, just as autistic people can struggle to read non-autistic people.
Later research has supported this. In a 2020 study, autistic people shared information with other autistic people as well as non-autistic people did with each other, but much less information was shared in mixed groups of autistic and non-autistic people. Findings like this challenge the simple deficit model.
What this means
If the social difficulties are not simply an autistic deficit but a bidirectional mismatch, then the burden of adjustment should not fall exclusively on the autistic person.
Decades of social skills training for autistic children has been aimed at teaching autistic children to behave in ways that neurotypical people find socially legible. That training has a cost, it requires significant energy, it often involves suppressing authentic autistic communication, and it may produce compliance without genuine understanding.
The Double Empathy Problem suggests a different approach: teach both groups to understand each other. Develop neurotypical people's capacity to read and respond to autistic communication styles. Build environments where both modes of communication are valued.
The practical upshot
In a school context, this means: teach neurotypical children about neurodiversity. Build peer understanding alongside individual accommodation. Create cultures where different communication styles are explicitly valued.
In a family context, this means: spend time understanding autistic communication rather than only teaching neurotypical communication. If your child communicates through scripts, through indirect means, through written rather than spoken language, learn to hear that. Meet them where they are.
The Double Empathy Problem is not an excuse to dismiss the real social challenges autistic people face. But it is a significant reframing, one that distributes the burden of adjustment more equitably, and that opens the door to communities built for genuine mutual understanding rather than one-sided performance.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the double empathy problem?
Proposed in 2012 by researcher Damian Milton, the double empathy problem says the social difficulties in autism are not a one-way deficit but a two-way mismatch. Non-autistic people can misread autistic people just as autistic people can misread them. It reframes social difficulty as a gap between two groups rather than a failure of one.
How does this theory challenge traditional social skills training?
For decades, social difficulties were blamed on autistic deficits in theory of mind, which led to training that taught autistic children to behave in ways neurotypical people find legible. If the difficulty is actually a mutual mismatch, the burden of adjustment should not fall entirely on the autistic person. A 2020 study found autistic people shared information with each other as well as non-autistic people did, while mixed groups shared much less, which supports this reframing.
What does the double empathy problem suggest families should do?
Rather than only teaching neurotypical communication, spend time understanding your child's communication, whether that is scripts, indirect means, or written rather than spoken language, and learn to hear it. In schools it means teaching neurotypical children about neurodiversity and building mutual understanding. It does not dismiss the real challenges autistic people face, but it distributes the work of adjustment more equitably.